what do you do with it?
People have said it’s a good base.
true. It is a place to start.
I mean it doesnt change who I am or what I am doing. I’m still the same Ann I was the day before I was diagnosed.
it does confirm what many have told me and what I have thought for a very long time.
It does confirm that I am not faking anything. That is really just a side thought. But it is like a confirmation to me that I really am who I am. I really do have these things and I’m not faking it or making it up. I don’t know why I needed that, but it was a validation. Every single avenue of the testing that they did, even the cognitive part pointed to Autism with their being more underlying cognitive stuff that happened in utero (FASD).
I think the people around someone with Autism or FASD need that validation as well. To hear from a professional that “no, your kid is not doing this to get out of things. no your kid really does have cognitive and sensory issues that need to be worked around.” I think that helps.those who are with that person on a day to day basis. I think it helps confirm their thoughts about their loved one. I think that is necessary to get the helps at school and in therapies. All it takes is that one person to say YES you have Autism or YES you have FASD to get the IEP’s in place. to get all the helps in place for that child/adult that was needed and was not being addressed. The adults can rest easier now that their child/loved one will get the helps that they have been fighting for with no success.
It gives answers to questions that loved ones have had for years. why does my child not want to play with the other kids? why does my child not like to be held or touched like other kids? why does my child not look at me in the eyes?
These are just a few of the questions that make one understand.
Now that the person has the diagnosis, they no longer have to be forced to do the things that are considered…’normal.’
I know for someone on the spectrum to look people in the eyes is hard if they are trying to hear you at the same time. So, that gives the okay to say ok, be who you need to be to be your best. Be who you need to be to function in this neurotypical world.
We are forced to conform all the time and it gives us permission to opt out of that what they consider ‘normal behavior.’ and allow us to be who we are in our autistic or fasd mind.
trying to force us to act like an NT can be pretty damaging and all it really does is create a world where we are not able to be our best. the diagnosis allows us to be who we are to be are best. It provides the helps and the ‘excuses’ if I can use that word…to be who we need to be in order to operate in a world that does not cater to people on the spectrum.
It helps teachers and caregivers to know what to have in place so those on the spectrum can be their absolute best.
It helps me know that maybe down the line if I do need to have more helps, that they might be available for me. That is a safety.Forcing us to live outside of those safeties does not allow a great productive environment for us and it actually works against us. We can be amazing workers.We have the ability to make a lot of money and soar in life as long as the right things are in place to allow us to have our sensory breaks, or self-regulate, or not be forced to socialize at the work parties or give a speech that could send us into a meltdown. it gives us the right to be what we need to be to be our best.
My daughter is going off to school soon and I will not have that help in place that I have had all of her growing up. Just having that safe person with you that you have a great relationship with, regardless of age, adds another brain to the equation when at the store, etc.
I know I need the helps now that I instinctively had in place. Having a neuropsychologist confirm that for me, I think, allowed me to be okay with that fact. I always felt that I was a bother. Not that I dont now…lol…but I do feel like now its okay for me to ask for the helps.
It’s like i’ve been given that permission slip to have Autism and FASD and it be okay. I will always push myself. I will always force myself to go beyond what I can do. I dont need anyone to stretch me because I am already do that myself every single day. Just going outside and to work and to the store and even going outside of routine is stretching. the only thing others need to do is just have those supports in place when we go outside of our comforts. Just stand there while we go into areas where we are not as comfortable and it provides an immediate safety for us to stretch even more.
We do know our limits. We do know when someone is asking us to do something beyond what we can do at that moment. Maybe it gives us the permission for others to really listen to what we are saying. I know we dont say it with our mouths necessarily. But our entire bodies are telling you what we want and what we need.
I know if I can do it. I will put one foot out and I can tell by my own cells in my body if they are going to be able to handle it. Sometimes, just putting the foot out was about all I can handle. Maybe next time, I might accomplish a full step, but just know that most of the time, we are doing all we can to stretch.
I want to be able to be like the others in the room. I want to feel at ease when everyone is socializing. Sure, I’m quiet and I stand back and I dont talk, but that does not mean that I dont have things to say and I dont want those people to talk with me.
A diagnosis maybe helps others to know their roles in our lives. It helps them to know to come to us instead of force us to come to them and make conversation. it allows others to know that large groups are not the best, but we are great one on one.
If someone has a disease, they go to a doctor, they are diagnoses and then a plan is put in place in order to make that person better.
Better? is that what we are striving for with Autism? with FASD?
Well, yea. I think that we can get…better…in that we can learn how to operate in the NT world one step at a time. We can learn ourselves to the point where we know–and I believe we know instinctively–what we can handle and what we can’t. But what a diagnosis does is allow the people around us to know how to act upon our actions and how to do life with us.
Don’t walk in front of us trying to force us to go your speed.
Dont walk behind us trying to pick up after us or watch to make sure we get there.
Just walk with us. Do life with us at our pace. We will get there.
We are fine!
it is you that isn’t.
Because we are not living like others in the neurotypical world, you think we are the ones that are messed up…lol
The only time we arent is when we are forced to live outside of our comforts. Again, we do know our comforts. We know what we are capable of. We know what we can do and people on the spectrum really are the hardest workers I know. they will do anything to please. We don’t have that neurotypical gene in us that wants to slack…lol…
So know we are giving our all. 100% of who we are all the time.
Different is just that…different.
I heard someone say that we are not disabled we are differently-abled. That’s perfect. We just operate differently. so let us operate the way we do instead of think our way is wrong and that it needs to be like others…just look at it as we are fine. we are just operating where we operate but we will get there.
Have you heard blind people who were blind at birth say that they operate in this world fine because they have never seen. They have always been this way. it is all they have known. they have instinctively gotten around this world just fine. just different than a seeing person.
That is the way it is for people on the spectrum. We are seeing ourselves around, the way we instinctively need to, in order to do our day.
Maybe this diagnosis allows others to let us do what we need to and not make us conform and BE neurotypical…